trauma is having your first vision being seeing the corpse of that person's best friend being puppeted around by some cursed sorcerer brain thing and knowing that happened because of that person--you, essentially, perspective-wise
[bit of a pause...]
... I knew Shura a little before the boat but he always aggravated me 'cause he was never honest and never genuine and then on the boat, I got to see some of what that actually looks like on him and then I got that vision and freaked the fuck out because y'know DUDE'S DOUBLE'S IN MY VISION! so went to him about it, but y'know, still freaking the fuck out said we should avoid repeats of that and just do things differently except that was apparently doing the exact same thing because even though I said I didn't want to do these visions shit alone and didn't want HIM to or feel pressured to keep going surprise! we both continued on our own! except he probably started way earlier even when I kept trying to reach out didn't matter 'cause what I said at the VERY start so whatever happens, it's on me feel free to tell him I said as much or that Satoru sends his regards.
I'm not going to use your true name that would be messed up but I'll tell him the rest even though based on what you're saying I really don't think it's just on you
if you really don't wanna, don't gotta if anything sorry my bad forgot to tell you that the person in my visions is absolutely 100% insane out the membrane and kinda feels like I'm ready to go over the edge to meet him there and kinda feels like that's what's wanted, too
you're helping that guy's a fucking idiot who keeps convincing himself he's gotta do everything on his own and probably feeling both proud of himself and miserable with himself that no one's caught on yet so me ratting him out to you kneecaps him there and he needs that so that's helping both me and him
it's not about what I want it's about what you feel comfortable talking with me about I'm not gonna say NOW YOU HAVE TO SHARE, OR ELSE! because I lowkey a little sick of feeling like I'm forcing people's hands but like why am I opening myself up to more hurt if it's not something the other person does in kind? that's why I stabbed myself in the first place hurt less than what was going on
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[bit of a pause...]
...
I knew Shura a little before the boat but he always aggravated me 'cause he was never honest and never genuine and then on the boat, I got to see some of what that actually looks like on him
and then I got that vision and freaked the fuck out because y'know DUDE'S DOUBLE'S IN MY VISION!
so went to him about it, but y'know, still freaking the fuck out said we should avoid repeats of that and just do things differently
except that was apparently doing the exact same thing because even though I said I didn't want to do these visions shit alone and didn't want HIM to or feel pressured to keep going
surprise!
we both continued on our own!
except he probably started way earlier
even when I kept trying to reach out
didn't matter 'cause what I said at the VERY start
so whatever happens, it's on me
feel free to tell him I said as much
or that Satoru sends his regards.
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but I'll tell him the rest
even though based on what you're saying I really don't think it's just on you
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he used it several times at the date.
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so it's not behind my back
and, if anything, you'll get a reaction probably
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if anything
sorry
my bad
forgot to tell you that the person in my visions
is absolutely 100% insane out the membrane
and kinda feels like I'm ready to go over the edge to meet him there
and kinda feels like that's what's wanted, too
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I saw him in a dream once
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and acted creepy in general
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weirdo
I'd say I don't think he would kill someone just 'cause
but
yeah dunno
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but who knows, it was a dream
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but fair
anyway
my bad if i woke ya up
but also
screaming into the void got old fast
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and I'd rather think about other people's problems than my own
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these problems suck!
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obviously I can't
sorry I'm not very good at helping with anything
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that guy's a fucking idiot who keeps convincing himself he's gotta do everything on his own
and probably feeling both proud of himself and miserable with himself that no one's caught on yet
so me ratting him out to you kneecaps him there
and he needs that
so that's helping both me and him
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I'll talk to him first thing in the morning
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do I just suck to talk to?
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I like talking to you I promise
I'm just not sure what you want me to say or do
sorry
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it's about what you feel comfortable talking with me about
I'm not gonna say NOW YOU HAVE TO SHARE, OR ELSE!
because I lowkey a little sick of feeling like I'm forcing people's hands
but like
why am I opening myself up to more hurt if it's not something the other person does in kind?
that's why I stabbed myself in the first place
hurt less than what was going on
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